In the vein of the comedian Jeff Foxworthy I give you E.L. Burton’s version “You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if….”
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if you know that shrinking the size of government can’t be left up to government because that is like letting a monkey babysit your kids, giving it a loaded handgun and a lit cigarette and telling it to call you if there are any problems.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if when you talk about the National Debt you don’t try and make the same old male argument that size matters and bigger is better.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if credit is something you establish not something you live off of.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if you actually know what Agenda 21 is and don’t think it is the next great band your kids are listening to
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if you hold a rally and then clean up after you’re done.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if your definition of “occupy” means exactly that, to occupy, it isn’t defined as storming businesses, lighting fires, raping, stealing pooping on police cars and planning the takeover of America in favor of socialism and communism.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if you don’t have to set up a “Rape Free” zone at your next gathering.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if your definition of FAIR is where you go and pay to have a fun time eating food you shouldn’t and riding rides that make you regret your food choices.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if spending money on defense isn’t the same thing as tearing down “Da-Fence” to allow anybody into this country illegally
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if the word Union is actually a four-letter word in a country run on capitalism and a free market economy.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if college, a house, a car, etc. are things that you work hard for and EARN not things the government owes you.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if your understanding of the Bill of Rights means that we are free to “Pursue” our destiny rather than having government hand it to you with strings attached.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if you like Chinese food and Chinese checkers but not Chinese dictators on your T-Shirts.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if the American flag is something you display with pride not as kindling for your latest protest.
You know you are a Tea Party Patriot if Patriotism means you have pride in your country, teach your children of her virtue and would defend her with your life not stand at the Brandenburg Gate or in front of Egyptians and apologize for her arrogance.
Be proud to be counted among those who believe that the government isn’t our babysitter, it isn’t our mother, and it doesn’t owe us anything except a place to be free to pursue unconstrained our life, our liberty and our happiness.
E.L. Burton, a Proud Texas Tea Party Patriot