This week I hopped in a Lyft and ventured downtown to meet a friend. I picked up something that was a bucket list adventure long dreamed of. In the moments after, I began reflecting on my blessed life, the friends, opportunities and experiences that had enriched my life. In that moment I realized that my bucket was full and maybe, just maybe, I could use my gift as something to enrich the life experience of someone else. Truth be told, I need nothing in my life to make it richer. It started as a faint murmur in the back of my mind but as the day went on that murmur turned to a loud voice, that voice told me to “Pay it Forward.” Share this with someone whose bucket might be a little light, that, might need to be picked up by a random act of kindness. My father taught me long ago as I was lamenting my life, my blindness, and that my future was bleak and void of hope, “If you think that your life is bad, I guarantee you that someone has it far worse than you.” He would go on to tell me that, “Sure, in life you can choose to be a victim, but understand that is not how we are raising you and if you want to see a victim I will take you to the ER before I do rounds. I see victims everyday at the hospital and you my son are blessed, and not a victim.” As a youngster those words seemed like noise, the type of thing that a parent would tell you to shut you up. Of course, as time passed and I was exposed to the world I soon found that those words were in fact a very hard truth, a reality that can never be hidden, unnoticed, avoided or ignored. It was in those moments I learned the value of paying your life’s gifts forward, that there was indeed a karmic value that your gift is just that, a moment for you but if paid forward it could represent a life altering moment for someone who is not as blessed or as fortunate as you are. Having had the opportunity to work for Aira has granted me a window into the life of many who didn’t have the blessing of parents who never let them settle for being seen as less than. Instead, many have lived life in a bubble of self-doubt and loneliness. These lives may be the result of parents and people who were simply afraid, scared to expose someone they love to the disappointments of a world that is cruel, that has historically marginalized and ignored those with a disability. These are people who are not bad, not ashamed or ill intentioned, people who just loved and clung a little too tightly rather than giving their loved one wings to fly and the resilience to get up and move forward when they failed. This is the gift I was given by parents who never treated me as less than, they expected me to always be and have the belief that I can and will be someone seen as more than.
This is the gift that I want to pay forward, not just the attitude, but gifts that run the gamut of life from the little things to the grand gestures. My work while at Aira opened many doors within my community as well as in the disabled community in general. It exposed me to some of the most brilliant and talented people who frankly put me and anything I have done up to this point in my life to shame. Remember, these are individuals that society has cast into the shadows, marginalized and relegated to the sidelines because of their perceived inabilities due to a flawed interpretation of what a disability represents. All of these people in their own way paid forward their hope, their belief in something better to me. So, back to my bucket list item, don't ask because I will never tell. What it may be is less important than what it represents. Hope is the single greatest gift that we have to give. It is the four-letter word that is powerful and transformational. Yet, it is such a simple thing that can be granted, paid forward to be a starting point for someone who believes it to be something others deserve rather than a gift worthy to every single person living today and those who will populate the future. For me, showing people a form of independence never thought possible because of a visual disability opened my eyes. While this technology isn't a cure all, it does open a few doors closed to members of my community. While truly transformational for me, it may be something less for someone else but I have been witness to the change it has made to so many, something that cannot be denied, ignored or mocked. Life is filled with disappointments, people will fail you, they will pursue the selfish in the face of the greater good. Companies, elected officials, bosses and the list goes on. These people and entities will come into your life with great intentions, words and beliefs that inspire. However, it is important to understand they have the potential to morph, change and expire, give way to pressure, mob rule and seek money and power over meeting the demands of a society seeking sustainability through the realization of the greater good that includes diversity and inclusion for all, not just the privileged and the able. The reality is that while things may not be perfect, our personal goal should always be bent towards the noble, towards the idea of paying it forward in spite of the obstacles that are inevitable in this life.
The point of this is not to be a pitchman sent out to hock a product, it is to testify on the power of paying your life’s blessings forward. Spreading that simple four letter word “…Hope…” to people who may have lost theirs, never believed they were worthy or deserving of it. Paying it forward is as simple as just talking to someone, looking at them, seeing them and treating them with dignity and respect. Paying it forward is not just giving someone something, it is an attitude, it is understanding what you have and wanting to share it with someone else for no other reason than it is the right thing to do. My challenge to those who read this is to take a deep dive into “YOURSELF.” Find a way to pay forward something to your fellow world traveler walking the road of life. Whether you are rich or poor, we all possess something that someone else is lacking. Find that thing and pay it forward. When you do that, you put a checkmark next to the most important item on your personal bucket list, “Leave the world better than the day you arrived.”
This article is dedicated to a new friend, Lave Jackson. I had the pleasure of meeting Lave after a TED X talk he gave and his story moved me as well as provided some of the inspiration for this article. If you don’t know his story, he isn’t hard to find if you search his name. Love you Lave and thank you.
**Picture below contains the text “Paying it Forward” with an arrow that indicates the direction of forward.
